The Ex-factor

Oscar Wilde was twenty years younger than the great artist James Whistler with whom Wilde was awed. Both travelled in the same aristocratic circles and had become fast friends despite their differences. Whistler was an elitist and had a strong personality. Wilde was a populist and milder in his manner. Eventually, Whistler tired of Wilde and in a public lecture obliquely ridiculed Wilde implying that he was a dilettante. Wilde didn’t take this lying down, and so their verbal sparring continued until, it is said, Wilde had the last word when he based the character of a murdered artist in... Read More

Andaz Apna Apna (To Each His Own)

Female clients in psychotherapy have shared with me these insecurities related to sex:“I’ve never had an orgasm. Am I normal?”“I seldom have orgasms during sex. Maybe it’s because I don’t love him?”“Sex is painful, but it’s my duty to my husband. I just close my eyes and wait until it’s over”“I don’t know how to masturbate. Besides, Isn’t it wrong?”“I feel guilty masturbating when I have a partner. Shouldn’t I be satisfied with him?“I’m not good in bed. Is it because I’m not pretty?”These personal insecurities reflect broader, societal views about sexual intimacy, and this is found in a wide... Read More

Love: It’s Rocket Science

Love and marriage, love and marriageGo together like a horse and carriageDad was told by motherYou can’t have one, you can´t have noneYou can’t have one without the other– Frank Sinatra No love, no marriage In the 1980’s, a group of researchers talked to a WHOLE lot of young people and asked them…Would you marry a person you weren’t “in love with,” but who had all the qualities you desired in a partner?Over 80% said : NO Honoré Fragonard – Les Progrès de l’amour : Le rendez-vous Happily never after Another group of researchers found couples who married for love and followed... Read More

Sex and the City

Physics is like sex: Sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.  — Richard Feynman “I have a 2 year old, that constantly tugs at us and still wakes up twice every night. She sleeps in our bed. Anita and I work an 8 to 8 job. We’ve been together for 6 years. Her body looks like a battlefield. These celebrity billboards …set the bar high. We can count the number of times we have sex in a year. When we do, it feels like a learned motion. How the hell do I navigate... Read More